Monday, May 11, 2009

This Morning

A typical morning in the life of Leppy & Beers.
So we are driving to work and Leps says she wants to listen to Crank That by Soulja Boy. So I flip through the songs on my MP3 player and bring up the song that has been requested. It's starts out and I look up and am like "Whoa." And Leppy is all Cranking that soulja boy, bustin a move and singing the song. And I say "Whoa Whoa"
again because the light we are speeding towards is still red.
Christene doesn't seem to understand why I'm saying WHOA. I guess she thinks it's the way I sing, or that I am practicing my Joey Lawerance impression. Anyways she finally realizes why I am saying WHOA. But it's too late we are already in the intersectin and it's wet and she slams on the brakes and we skid. And then she's like "Fuck it might as well go all the way" and she speeds off.
Just goes to show Cranking that soulja boy is not a good idea at 5:30 AM, monday morning when it's raining.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Falling Apart

I have this sneaking suspicion that I am falling apart.
It could be aging. It could be something more. Perhaps I am dying. Maybe this will be my last blog. Maybe this is a little morbid.
My knee makes this really disgusting grinding noise. My skin has went from perfect to Seal-like, just to clarify that's not Seal the cute seafaring creature, it's Seal the singer. I have dark circles under my eyes. My eyesight is rapidly failing me. My hands ache (I blame the excessive typing I do). And I think my hair is thinning. Also i have this rather annoying wrinkle between my eyebrows because I scowl all the time.
I wasn't really a super attractive person to start with, but with all of these ailments? I don't have a chance. Maybe I have a sickness that is causing all these things. I should go on House and they can diagnose me, then they can treat me. And everything will go back to good.
Here is the real kicker, I am finally treating myself right. I exercise an hour a day, cut out snack food and candy, have been eating healthier, shower daily and have even been taking a multi vitamin and folic acid. So why the sudden downfall?
Oh yeah did I mention that I don't smoke or drink? I should be a thin gorgeous woman damn it!

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

I Have Decided

I don't really like people.
And that people don't really like me.
I don't have patience for your bad mood, complaints, irritations, annoyances or even happiness.
Just as you don't have patience for my sarcastic comments, wry wit or brutal truths.
If I request that you just leave me alone, on my own, will you comply?
Please just leave me allow to wallow. Wallowing is something I do well.
You will have to pardon me if I don't ask you what's wrong because to be honest, and honesty is always the best way to be, I don't really care.
It's true. I don't really care.
It feels good to say, so once more I will.
I don't care that you didn't sleep well, that you're hungry or that you woke up on the wrong side of the bed. Feel free to stand near me and spout off about the injustices of the world, or at least the injustices of the life you are leading but be prepared for me to become more and more irate the longer you stand and rant. It might be best if you direct your bitching elsewhere. Like towards the pleasant woman in the corner who is always willing to "listen".
I don't listen. While you talk to me I am thinking about other things. More important things.
Is it sad that my other more important things are usually something to do with characters I have created and who don't really exist?
The point is this. The next time you opt to chew my ear off about how the Biggest Loser made you cry, the fact that you spilled on your new shirt or that you have the lingering taste of your lunch in your mouth, you might find my fist hurtling towards your face in the effort to make you stop talking.
Harsh? Perhaps.
Necessary? Indeed!

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Stand By Me

Exercising sucks but it's not as bad when you have the cast of Stand By Me to keep you company. While peddling away I decided to watch the movie. I hadn't seen it in a long time, at least five years. The last time I watched it I was with Lisa and we were eating bad food and having a gay old time. Anyways, I bought the DVD at Wal-Mart for 7 dollars and what a freakin' steal of a deal. It's one of those movies where I say, "Hey this is a good movie" but then after I watch it I'm like, THIS MOVIE IS AMAZING!
It's a number of things. It's Corey Feldman and River Phoenix. It's Kiefer Sutherland playing Ace. It's fat little Jerry O'Connell. It's the amazing soundtrack. It's the line "Alright alright, Mickey's a mouse, Donald's a duck and Pluto's a dog, What's Goofy?". It's the couple seconds of John Cusack you get, the young John, the sweet faced John. It's the greatness that is the cars and clothes and hair.
If you haven't seen it, you must. And if you have, then you know just what I am speaking of.

Friday, May 1, 2009

A Little Treat?

Yesterday I got a multimedia text message from a number I didn't know. It was a 780 number. I accepted it because...well because why not? And low and behold I get this picture of a girl (whom I don't know) and that Little Wayne song was playing, that Me & My Drink song. Anyways I thought I would post the picture of the girl here so that you could see it too: