Saturday, December 27, 2008

A Word Of Advice

Don't tell people you are writing a book. Or that you have wrote a book.

If you tell people these things you won't be greeted with eagerness or excitment, you will be greeted with defensiveness, the "What do you have to write a book about?" attitude.

No really. You will.

Even people who are suppose to support you, like your family, won't do it.

I can tell you right now what they will say....
"What are you going to do with it?"
"Do you know how hard it is to get published?"
"You don't know how hard it's going to be to do anything with it."

Here are a few answers you shouldn't say back because people don't like to hear them:

1. I was thinking about using it as a means to prop up my coffee table.
2. Oh, so have you ever written a book?
3. Now that I am finished I was thinking about burning it
4. Well, I will be sure not to mention you in the dedication.
5. Shut up.

If on the off chance you find someone interested in what you wrote you will soon discover that they are just itching to compare it to something already written.

"Oh, wasn't that already done? Didn't Stephen King write a short story similar to that in 1981? Really, your idea just sounds so familer."

Here is my advice to you.

Just don't mention it. And when you do get it published. Gloat gloat gloat gloat gloat.

Friday, December 26, 2008

My New Thing

Doing nothing.

This is pretty much all I do.


It has a nice ring to it.

I am tired of people asking me what I do and not believing me when I tell them nothing.

I really am doing nothing.

Nothing has changed. Everything is the same. Nothing is nothing.

Same job, same house, same BF and same cat.

Nothing is nothing.

People don't like to hear nothing is happening. They want adventure. They want excitement.

Well, if you want those things, you are barking up the wrong tree if you're looking at me for it.
If you want those sort of things you would be better off picking up a Choose Your Own Adventure book.

(Do they even make those any more?)

I often find people who don't have their own crap going on want to live through others.

Leave me alone.

I am doing nothing...just like you.

Thursday, December 4, 2008

I Can See Clearly

And all it cost me was 468 dollars and no cents. 

Can you believe that? 

But its nice because now you don't have a blurry face when your more than three feet away from me. 

Anyways, I have been having severe headaches - to the point where I contemplated shooting myself in the face to make them stop. Instead, I got my eyes checked out and splurged on 200 dollar armani frames. Of course, the lenses only cost me 175. 

I love that everything in this world is beyond expensive. 

I don't have that kind of money.

 It's a good thing that I have that type of credit. 

At least this way when I rob a bank I'll be able to see my getaway car clearly.